How many of you have ever wondered if you’re a good lover or a so so one? What does it mean to be a good lover and how can you be sure you’ll always be an excellent one? First of all, please do not stress too much about it. All of us have been there and it´s likely that you and your sex partner worry about exactly the same things at the same time. So keep on reading because today, we are going to tell you all the secrets that will make you an excellent lover. Let’s get started!
When do we feel that the sex was good? Often, this happens when we forget about the entire world. When the flow is on the same level, vibes are awesome and we both are satisfied. To have a good sex session, you don’t need to feel anything towards the person you are with. However, let´s be honest: it does help a lot! And this is because feelings create some sort of chemistry that is incomparable to anything else. So, the first thing we consider necessary to have a good intercourse is the chemistry. It is the basic ingredient to good sex and (unfortunately) we are unable to work on it. Either it exists or it doesn´t.
The second most important thing is your ability to cooperate – sex won’t be good either if you are just thinking about yourself or about the other person. Cooperation is essential – we are a team and we both want and must have benefits out of it. Sometimes this happens without even discussing the topic before – that means bodies were unconsciously working together. But it definitely takes some maturity and experience to be able to talk things openly with your sexual partners.
(Tip: of course, you don’t need to have a full convo with your partner before the intercourse – most times you just need to read between the lines. People love to speak about themselves and they will tell you a lot – maybe not directly, but surely in hidden words.)
Finally, our top three is completed with the thing that make intercourses unforgettable: the kisses. In the era of quick porn, it’s so easy to just have a quickie (2-3 min) and that’s it. No kisses, no passion, almost no touching involved. And, although sometimes it’s needed, those rarely make it to your list of unforgettable intercourses. A good touch of your hands and lips can make miracles. Remember sex is not just about genitals. It is well beyond that.
Want an extra bonus tip: flirt! Always flirt during your sexual encounters. You will soon see the effects. Flirting is one of the most effective and seductive introductions to sex. Often, we forget sex starts way before the actual intercourse. The more intense you want it to be, the more patience you both should put into it. It is all about understatements, looking deep into each other’s eyes, giving compliments – and saying when something does not feel right – but overall, it is about smiling and enjoying such a magical moment.
Remember none of this is universal. Some things will work with one person but not with another. However, keep in mind that we can always learn how to flirt, kiss and touch. Communication can be learned and mastered, but every person and every relation is different. That’s why listening to your partner and to yourself is essential to create an unforgettable intercourse.
Now it is your turn to put these tips into practice and become a great lover. Good luck! 😉
Iga Jarzębkowska | Relationship Coach & Blogger